Why you should educate your kids at home

And how to start from the beginning

If God has blessed you with children – and the ability to stay home with them – I urge you to consider keeping them home with you as they launch into more formal education.

If you can’t stay home with your kids – well, let’s start there. The most common reason given for not being able to stay home is financial. I would challenge you and your spouse, however, to prayerfully and creatively consider ways to make it happen.

I’ve seen many sacrifices made so that a family can live on one income, and encourage that to be seriously considered before children come along. That being said, it’s also never too late and always beneficial to change your lifestyle so that you can spend more time at home with your kids, at any age, period. They grow up awfully fast.

And by the way, I think an excellent goal for fathers is to pursue income opportunities that allow him to be home-based too (at least some of the time, at minimum). Your children thrive best with abundant time with both of you!

But when it comes to home education, we are usually talking more about moms than dads, so let’s address whether finances are really what’s keeping mom from staying home. A friend of mine, who sacrificed a promising career to stay home with her three-soon-to-be-four littles, thinks Christian women should ask themselves where their hearts are when career and home are at odds:

• Am I valuing my own career – and my own time – too highly? Am I willing to submit these things to the Lord?

• Have I not seriously considered staying home, since so many women don’t? Am I willing to be different?

• Am I willing to sacrifice? Am I willing to prayerfully ask God if I should stay home?

If these questions are asked when a baby’s on the way, they may need to be asked again when a child reaches what we deem “school age” as we’ll touch on below.

Which brings us back to home education, which is the term I prefer over “homeschooling.” That implies we are doing institutional school at home, which further implies that institutional school is the ideal, or at least the norm. I think that’s an idea every responsible parent should challenge, particularly Christian parents.

Like Dorothy said…

There really is no place like home. No institution can match the power of a godly home as a place for children to grow, learn, and thrive. That applies for all of childhood, starting from birth.

All children are best served by spending the bulk of their time with the people who love them the most. Period.

Daycare cannot possibly provide the nurture, attention, and love that new parents can at home. No preschool can do a better job continuing to nurture a child’s individual needs and gifts as well as loving, committed parents.

And although far too many children do get institutionalized practically from birth, at least parents of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers generally have to pay the institution in question, which has the effect of encouraging parents to at least consider staying home with them, at least part of the time.

But once the children hit school age, the societal expectation is that the stay-at-home mom (or much more rarely, dad) will finally be able to go back to work, jump back into a career, get some time to herself, etc. However, there is no magic switch that flips when a child turns 5 or 6, negating their need for, and benefit from, being primarily home with engaged, loving parents.

In fact, I would argue that this is the case throughout what we categorize as the elementary school years. Kids up to about age 12 need their home, family, and parents more than they need an institutional school.

This article will discuss how to lay the groundwork in your child’s first years so that home education becomes an organic part of your daily life from their earliest days – making the transition to more formal learning at home more natural, when the time comes.

Home Education 101

Education is what you’re doing from your baby’s first day of life, by the way.

Dictionary definition of “education” – the process of imparting knowledge, skills, and judgment

Your baby begins to learn about the world primarily through his/her interaction with mom and dad. This is God’s design and why He brings children into the world through families. He equips you, the parents, with the desire to protect and nurture your baby, which generally involves you learning new skills, rearranging your schedule, and buying some stuff! (And boy, will those three tasks continue to dominate your life!)

As the preschool years unfold and children increasingly become active in your household, the most important thing you can do for them is simple and organic:

Establish your home as a safe, orderly, loving, peaceful, and interesting place.

It is simple – but it takes effort. Here are some thoughts to guide you toward each of these goals.

Safe

You are your child’s safety. Your daily presence with them fosters a deep sense of security, which is necessary so they can begin to see that they can separate from you, at times. This does not mean you can never leave, or use a babysitter, but it is helpful if trusted family members or like-minded close friends live nearby and can be part of this security-building experience. After all, when God placed your child in a family, that included the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

A sense of security is also fostered by encouraging children to develop resilience. When they take a tumble, if you see it isn’t serious, a cheerful and calm “you’re okay!” will send the right message, and encourage them to get right back to whatever they were doing. This is not to discourage you from comforting them – on the contrary, comfort and reassurance that you’re there for them will help them comfort themselves and bounce back more quickly.

There is no such thing, in the baby/toddler/preschool years, as too much time with mom, dad, or other loving family members or friends. When safe and feasible, bring them along for chores and tasks and allow them to “help” – to them it’s just another form of play, but they are learning all along.

Orderly

Children thrive within boundaries; they want them, they need them, you need them. Generally keeping to schedules (which change often as babies grow into preschoolers) and generally keeping an orderly environment (they can start helping put toys away at very young ages!) help to foster this sense of order.

Loving

You can’t really express too much affection for each other, in a family. Children also need to see that mom and dad love each other. Is this a good place to mention grandparents again? Why yes, it is. Have them come over tonight. 🙂

Peaceful

Disagreements arise, but with a little person in the house, strive for a peaceful demeanor. Home should always be a refuge. Yelling is not acceptable, nor are temper tantrums (child or adult).

Interesting

And here is where we finally get to what people think of as “education.” But remember our definition – by providing and modeling safety, order, love, and peace, you already are imparting knowledge, skills, and judgment. That is every bit as important if not more so than what else I’m going to add in this next section.

Your child’s curriculum

You want to spark a child’s interest and imagination from as early an age as possible. Three things will help you meet this goal enjoyably and effectively…

NUMBER ONE

The most effective way to spark learning for young children is so simple, and it’s good for you, the parent, as well.

Go outside.

The more time a child spends exploring the outdoors, the more their curiosity is piqued, and the more they learn. And this learning is the best learning, through their God-given senses. Don’t skimp on outside time – go out several times a day, weather permitting, and don’t rush them back inside. Walks are great!

Nature provides the best classroom, wherever you live (or visit): Beauty, colors, and patterns to see; birdsong and leaves rustling and dogs barking to hear; cool breezes and warm sun to feel; velvety flower petals and rough bark to touch; and (with supervision!) fresh berries or tomatoes from the garden to taste (or maybe even some fresh snow).

Side note: Play is a child’s first job, and outdoor play is the best workplace! Playing with your children (out or inside) is one of your most important jobs, too. Laughing and enjoying each other should happen often each day!

So introduce them to the glories outside your door, let them experience it, and give them language to describe it. Don’t worry – this is what we naturally do when we’re present outside with kids. “See the pretty flower?” And as age appropriate – “What color is it? Feel how soft it is! No, we don’t want to pick it – let’s let it keep growing here.”

NUMBER TWO

Which brings me to the second most important part of your child’s curriculum. Talk to him/her. About everything. You will be rewarded with a more verbal child, earlier, who can share his/her thoughts and needs more effectively. Talk to them outside, talk to them inside, talk to them while they’re eating, talk to them during diaper changes.

Point things out, describe them in adult language, ask them to name the things you’re pointing out. This starts with nouns (“See the ball? Can you say ball?) but eventually they’ll be able to add adjectives (“purple ball”) and other parts of speech, leading eventually to phrases and sentences.

Side note: Treasure each adorable mis-pronunciation (yeah, get those on video if you can for the grandparents), but continue saying the words properly. Don’t correct them – just say them properly when you say them. They’ll get it.

NUMBER THREE

The last subject in our must-have preschool curriculum is “Introduction to Books.”

Books – hardcopy books that children can touch – should be introduced from the very beginning.

Cloth books made for teething babies are plentiful, and by all means let them gum away on them – but also turn the pages and show them the pictures, again speaking about what they’re seeing (“See the black square?”). Books made of waterproof material are available for bathtime, as well. These “chewable” books tend to be mostly images, which is what you want, for these purposes. You won’t really be “reading” them as much.

Board books will carry you through the first few years, when children aren’t yet able to be gentle with “regular” books. These should have brief, simple text, and colorful, interesting images. Invest in a library of these because you will use them over and over. There are some time-tested classic board books (see list below), and quite a few that are outstanding for bedtime (again, see suggestions). You should keep board books in every location where your child might want a story! But keep the bedtime books separate, since they often become part of your bedtime routine (remember our principle of “order”). Also, do teach them to respect their books; discourage throwing or standing on them – “let’s treat our books nicely” is a lesson they need to learn so they can move on to:

Picture books. This is the category of regular children’s books (with regular, tearable pages!) that we are aiming our children to be able to enjoy. This level has so many good selections (again, see suggestions below) that you will probably run out of childhood before you run out of books. Again, you can have bedtime books, books for the car, books for different rooms. You can’t have too many books. (Well, that might be an exaggeration, but as a booklover, I defend my right to push this idea.)

We haven’t talked about content of board or picture books yet, so a few quick notes. First, I have seen a tendency for Christian board books to include concepts that simply aren’t appropriate for board-book-age children. As a grandparent, I ordered a couple of recommended board books and found the text of one of them to be far too advanced for a toddler; another was better but still included ideas that I deemed too much for a young child.

While I’m warning about Christian books (!), let me point out the obvious – the world is full of children’s books that are inappropriate in every way for any child, and that certainly includes yours. Before buying, I recommend that you quickly read through every page and scan the images (good habit if you use the library, too).

WHAT TO KEEP OUT OF YOUR HOME (and a bonus arts curriculum idea)

Since we’re talking about things to avoid, here’s one that will probably involve some discipline on your part. But the truth is, your child could go without any screen time for the first 5 or 6 years of his/her life and be the better for it. Andy Crouch’s book The Tech-Wise Family suggests no screens till age 10.

Several studies demonstrate that screen time is a net negative for young children, so don’t create a habit that will be painful to halt. If you’ve already allowed it, pull back now – the sooner the better.

Don’t read Kindle children’s books. Don’t let them play video games. Don’t teach them they need a screen to be entertained.

You may have to teach them this by example. GET OFF YOUR PHONE.

Do you want a child who wants to sit in front of a screen being entertained? Or do you want a child who loves to play and learn outside, talk to you, and spend time reading books together? I cannot state this any more clearly: SCREENS BAD.

However, there is one way you can use your TV for a net benefit. Play symphony orchestra performances (easy to find on YouTube). Your children may learn what musical instruments look like, but more to the point this will provide outstanding early music education as they listen during daily activities and while they play.

Your first curriculum purchases

What follows is a brief selection of really good books you may find helpful, in a number of categories:

Very first books

You won’t have any trouble finding cloth or bathtime books. Sensory books, with textures the child can touch, are also great starters, like:

• See, Touch, Feel: A First Sensory Book by Roger Priddy

Board books

Just about anything by Sandra Boynton. Favorites:

• Moo Baa La La La (also a Christmas version, Moo Baa Fa La La!)

• The Going to Bed Book

Since we just mentioned a bedtime book, just a couple must-haves:

• Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey (it ends with the ducklings settling down for a peaceful night’s sleep after an adventure!)

• Big Red Barn by Margaret Wise Brown

A couple Christian board books that are more age appropriate:

• God Cares for Me by Kristen Wetherell

• Don’t Forget to Remember by Ellie Holcomb

Classic picture books

Just a few favorites:

• Each Peach Pear Plum by Janet and Allan Ahlberg

• Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell

• The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister

• Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton

• Millions of Cats by Wanda Gág

• The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

• Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault

• Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina

• Curious George by H.A. Rey

• Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion

• Ox-Cart Man by Donald Hall and Barbara Cooney

• Mr. Gumpy’s Outing by John Burningham

• The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

• Freight Train by Donald Crews

• The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss

• Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle

Many of these authors have more than one classic book, so browse their other titles as well. And of course, there are thousands of other outstanding picture books. So many books, so little time!

Guides to children’s books

My number one book recommendation for parents, right from the start, is to obtain a really good guide to children’s books. All of the volumes below are excellent, and I don’t think it’s going overboard to have all of them in your personal home library. And yeah, these can be on your Kindle, if you prefer!

• Honey for a Child’s Heart: The Imaginative Use of Books in Family Life by Gladys Hunt

• Books Children Love by Elizabeth Wilson

• Read for the Heart: Whole Books for WholeHearted Families by Sarah Clarkson

• Books that Build Character by William Kilpatrick

Congratulations!

You’ve just completed Home Education 101. Everything you need to know to prepare/get started “homeschooling.” The next chapter is “school age” and we’ll talk about that soon – including more really good reasons why you should do it!

If you have specific questions, or a topic you’d like to hear about more, please feel free to comment, or email me directly. I love talking home education!