The One Anothers
The intro course: One-anothering 101
“Love will keep us together” was a previous post in which we discussed what we must do as Jesus-followers – which is to love one another (other believers). One very good reason the Lord gave us this commandment is so that others will know we belong to Him. As mentioned in that post, “love one another” is by far the most repeated instruction we are given:
Jesus stressed it multiple times in His final hours with the disciples (John 13:34, 15:12,17).
The Apostle Paul told us to owe nothing to one another except love (Romans 13:8). He also prayed that we’d increase and abound in love for one another (1 Thessalonians 3:12, 4:9).
The Apostle Peter told us to love one another fervently (1 Peter 1:22).
The Apostle John talked about loving one another a lot (1 John 3:11; 4:7, 11; 2 John 5)
There are plenty more “one anothers” (as discussed in the post linked above) – and all of them provide some practical help in understanding how to fulfill the big one of loving one another. So let’s take a look at a few of them.
The repeats
When the Bible repeats something, you know it’s of particular importance. God repeats things because we are slow to remember! As I considered these scriptures in light of my own attitudes and behaviors toward my fellow Christians, I wondered which “one anothers” merited multiple mention:
> Greet one another with a kiss
That is explicitly taught numerous times in the New Testament (1 Peter 5:14; Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:26).
Why don’t we do this now?
Well, it was culturally appropriate in biblical times. According to Bible teacher John MacArthur, kissing of friends on the forehead, cheek or beard was common in Old Testament times. Jews in the New Testament church continued the practice as a pure expression of Christian brotherly love and unity, between men, or between women, with no sexual overtones. But as MacArthur notes, the practice “became especially precious to new believers, who were often outcasts from their own families because of their faith” – so it signified their new spiritual family.
No wonder it was a cherished symbol. I wonder what the outcome would be if we tried to revive it!
> Forgive one another
> Humbly, gently, patiently bear with one another, accept one another, be at peace with one another
> Clothe yourself with humility, in fact – regard one another as more important than yourself – be subject to one another, honor one another, serve one another
> Be kind and tender-hearted to one another
These are really different things, but they are linked together in the relevant scriptures (Ephesians 4:2, 32; 5:21; Mark 9:50; Colossians 3:13; Philippians 2:3; Romans 12:10; 15:7; Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 5:5), so I’m treating them as a package deal, and one that was important enough to emphasize several times in the New Testament.
Obviously, Jesus also taught us to forgive – forgiveness is at the heart of the Gospel, so we are to forgive as well (70 x 7 which is to say, always – see Matthew 18:21-22).
To genuinely forgive requires humility, and we are to clothe ourselves in it – that certainly implies it’s an “always” command, as opposed to a situational command (like the kiss). Being subject to one another means submitting to one another – rather the definition of humility. Honoring one another, and giving preference to one another, take it perhaps a step further – we are not just to defer to our brethren, but to prefer them and their needs over ourselves. Serving one another, of course, is that thing the disciples did not want to do when Jesus – God in the flesh – demonstrated humility to all of us by washing their feet.
Bearing with one another and accepting one another is also repeated – and described as an action to be done with gentleness and patience. That brings to mind – to me – sort of graciously putting up with one another (as we would want to be “put up with”). Being at peace with another means conflict must be addressed – with that humility, gentleness and patience again.
Finally, this group of commands includes the instruction to be kind to one another – seemingly so simple and yet we do find that challenging at times, don’t we? The direction to be tender-hearted really brings it home, though – you will naturally be kind to someone if your heart is tender toward them.
But these are all “heart” instructions, and none of them are situational or cultural in context. They are the very heart, in fact, of who we are to be to one another.
Proactive one anothering
We should look for opportunities to fulfill these “action one anothers” – practical ways to love one another:
> Seek after that which is good for one another
(1 Thessalonians 5:15) Actively seeking good for each other shows great love. There are endless possibilities of how to live this out (see below).
> Stimulate one another to love and good deeds
(Hebrews 10:24) Yes, this is one of those possibilities – and it really just means encourage one another to do the right things. Isn’t that pretty important in our culture where the right things are increasingly dismissed or rejected? Encouragement is life-giving.
> Bear one another’s burdens
(Galatians 6:2) Speaking of encouragement in a hostile world… we are to carry each other’s sorrows and troubles for them and with them. We are to look for ways to do this.
> Comfort and build up one another
(1 Thessalonians 5:11) Closely related to bearing one another’s burdens, comforting each other means being there in difficulties and actively seeking ways to relieve pain or sadness. It is interesting that the command to build up one another comes in this context – perhaps those of us who most need building up are those of us who are hurting.
> Be hospitable to one another without grumbling
(1 Peter 4:9) Uh-oh. As my dad used to say, we just went from preachin’ to meddlin’…
As I’ve mentioned in a few posts already, hospitality is a big subject, and we’ll be coming back to it a lot. But here it is in black and white, ladies. Our homes are to be open to one another. And without grumbling! Well, that’s why we need to talk about this more.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll join me in praying that God gives us His heart for one another as we seek to follow His example… and that we start to see our church family and any other Christians in our circles as those He has hand-picked personally for us to “one another” – with His great love.