Are you ignoring a commandment?

A lot of us are (and I'm not talking about one of "The Ten")

Mar 03, 2025

person holding black book during daytime

If something is explicitly commanded in the Bible, multiple times, do we consider that a must-do? Do our churches teach it, encourage it, offer practical help to obey it?

I’m afraid a lot Christians, and a lot of churches, are dropping the ball on at least one clear biblical commandment, and that is to practice hospitality – to the lost, yes. But we are repeatedly instructed to be hospitable to our brethren. The fellow believers in our life.

You know… the people at church.

Why do so many of us struggle with obedience in this area?

First, let’s make clear why this is indeed a commandment, and not an option.

What’s the Word say?

The end of all things is at hand; therefore, be of sound thinking and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. – 1 Peter 4:7-9 (emphasis mine)

So the context for the command to be hospitable to each other without grumbling involves loving one another, even more as you see the end drawing near. Just in case you’re using “Jesus will be back soon” as an excuse to not open your home to your brethren. This is what we’re to be about, right now!

And the King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” – Matthew 25:40

This is the punchline of Jesus’ teaching about those who helped the hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick, or imprisoned brethren. Those who helped each other will be rewarded eternally in the presence of God, while those who did not help the brethren showed themselves as not actually belonging to God, and they will be cast out of His presence.

Some have used this passage in Matthew to argue that we have a responsibility to anyone in these circumstances, but that’s not the context here. Nevertheless, we surely are to seek ways to love the lost, including those struggling in situations like this.

Let love of the brothers continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you yourselves also are in the body. – Hebrews 13:1-3 (emphasis mine)

Villages and towns In New Testament times did not have an abundance of hotels and restaurants. Or any, in most cases. Travel was dangerous, and Christians were being encouraged to open their homes to fellow believers, even if they did not know them.

Again, some say this passage encourages opening your home to any stranger, but that’s not really what this is about. However, there is nothing preventing us from opening our homes to any lost person. We should of course exercise wisdom, since some who are lost should not be brought into an environment with children, for example.

I also like the above passage because it reminds us that in the early church, quite a few believers were indeed imprisoned, and Christians were to care for them best they could. That is its own kind of hospitality.

Let love be without hypocrisy—by abhorring what is evil, clinging to what is good, being devoted to one another in brotherly love, giving preference to one another in honor, not lagging behind in diligence, being fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, persevering in affliction, being devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, pursuing hospitality. – Romans 12:9-13 (emphasis mine)

The word for hospitality in this passage means “pursuing the love of strangers” – i.e., not just entertaining your church BFFs, although that is certainly an enjoyable aspect of biblical hospitality.

But we must always be thinking about the newcomer (the “stranger”), the single (young singles, or single-agains), the needy in our own congregations. Our responsibilities to them are what all the above scriptures are pointing to – hospitality that strengthens the church, the Body of Christ.

Let’s get practical here

First, I encourage you to read the two previous posts on this issue because they are foundational – Radical Christian hospitality, and Using your home to love your neighbor. Then come back!

Okay so now that you’ve read those both 😂 we can move on. How do we get started in obedience to this commandment?

Pray. Confess your failings in this area and ask for help, guidance, wisdom.
Consult with other family members, especially your spouse. You can’t force something that your spouse doesn’t want. So if your spouse balks, take a pause. Continue to pray for guidance, and for your spouse to seek obedience.
Consult with the children too – they should play a big role in your family hospitality. Let them know (if they’re old enough to understand) what you’ve decided to do, and why. Ask their opinions on people your family should reach out to (that’ll be their friends’ families at first, but they’ll start to catch the spirit of it when they see you branching out from just your buddy list). Pray with your whole family before each interaction, praying for the people who are coming and the time you’ll spend together. Pray with them afterward too, in thankfulness, and bringing any newly-discovered needs directly to Him.
And speaking of the kids, talk to them ahead of time to encourage interaction with guests and assign specific responsibilities. They can welcome people with a quick hello or a longer conversation. They can hang up coats or offer to get guests a drink. As Marci Ferrell, the Thankful Homemaker notes, these kinds of tasks encourage children to develop their social skills and comfort in welcoming others.

When the family’s all on board and everyone understands their roles, you’re ready to ease into opening your home to others. By all means start with someone you’re comfortable having over. But don’t settle for only that, because that doesn’t really capture the spirit of the scriptures above, does it?

A few possibilities:

Holiday hospitality

Work with your church to identify every single member who might be alone for the holidays. Every single, every widow, every college student who might not be able to get home.

The congregation should be asked, well ahead of time, if they know of someone or if they themselves will be alone, and give them a discreet way they can get on that list (maybe one individual who’ll collect that information, by phone or email).

At the same time the congregation should be informed of the mission – which is that no one from our church will be alone on Thanksgiving or Christmas. (That can apply to Easter, and the Fourth of July, and any other occasion when someone might feel lonely, too.) Give them an easy way to get on the list of families looking to host.

Then just make sure everyone knows who’s going where, who’s making what – and think up some fun questions to ask at the table to get conversation rolling!

Holiday hospitality, bonus version

What if there aren’t enough “lonely people” to go around? Encourage families to contact local colleges, where students (especially international) might be stranded when everyone else goes home for the holidays. Hosting a student for a holiday meal is fun!

You can also invite your widowed neighbor, or your hairdresser who just split up with her boyfriend, or…? The rules about using good judgment still apply, of course. Also, if you have extended family coming who expect to have you all to themselves, don’t spring a bunch of strangers on them. If you’re going to have a Thanksgiving Open House, for instance, then everyone should be fully aware of that when initial travel plans are made.

Be neighborly

God put you in your neighborhood for a reason. Go outside more. Introduce yourself to your neighbors. Start to make connections.

The easiest way to do this is to start with a new one – someone just moving in. If they’re moving in next door or right across the street, it’s for sure God’s will! (I’m joking, but still…)

Remember how much fun your last move was? Did you feel like cooking? No you did not. So instead of taking them cookies or something, why not slip over earlier in the day, and invite them to come over for dinner whenever they’re able to?

Plan something simple and reliable that you’ve made before and your family likes. Get all the prep work done so it can quickly go together when they come. And if at the last minute they make excuses, no worries. Go ahead and eat with your family, then pack up your neighbor’s portions and deliver them, with a big smile.

Make a commitment to yourself

Once you’ve started exercising your hospitality muscle, consider committing to inviting someone to your home regularly. It doesn’t have to be the same person every time; it probably won’t be. It could be a neighbor, it could be a new person in your church, it could be different people every time. The point is – commit to doing it. Put it on the calendar.

I think the goal should be once a week. (Remember Rosaria Butterfield does it almost daily!) But you could start with once a month, or even once a season/quarter to start. (And no, before you ask, once a year is not a meaningful commitment.)

So ask your family – who should we invite over this spring? This month? This week?

Today?

Make a commitment to others

This is really putting your money where your mouth is. Commit to hosting a weekly Bible study, discipleship group or other small group.

Personally, I think this is perhaps the highest use for your home. To be used as a church, in a way, every week.

And although the best small groups include food along with fellowship, prayer, and Bible study, this does not and should not require you to cook for a dozen every week. No, potluck is the way to go, so everyone can be hospitable! After all you can only meet in one home at a time, but everyone can share the cooking.

As the host, you might want to decide a theme each week (Italian, Mexican, chili, burgers, etc.), or make a main dish and suggest needed sides, desserts, or beverages. There are lots of ways to make it work.

Side note from my crunchy self: Whether you’re hosting or bringing food, aim to share healthy food! Locally raised grass fed or pastured meats, local seasonal produce, things made from scratch. That being said, there is a time and a place for takeout pizza and a plate of Pepperidge Farm cookies. It’s just not every week. (Can I get an Amen?)

She Speaks Truth

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